He Makes Me To Lie Down...

When I'm in the thick of life, I just see what's up close and personal. The monumental challenges, overwhelming joys... It's time that gives me perspective.  Thinking back on this year, I've seen God bring so much rest into my life.  It didn't start out easy, and it's not like there haven't been obstacles, or frustrations, but it also hasn't been a constant dark tunnel.  I've learned some coping strategies this year.  I've been way more faithful about seeking God. And I can't let go of His peace, it really does pass all understanding.  And it really is there for me in every circumstance. A friend and I were chatting on Sunday... "I don't know how, or if it is even possible to show another person how reliable God is." I told her, we both understood, her struggles, my struggles, both looked very different, and yet we were both coming out of the 'wringer' of the pain.  Ironically, neither of us has had a miraculous change in circumstances.  What changed was our hearts, we no longer fight the pain, the unfairness. We feel it, but we don't fight it.  I wish I could walk your road with you and quick give you some true verses and have you instantly 'get' the lesson that God wants you to learn.  But I can't.  I can tell you that He is faithful.  He can hold you. You must seek Him.
So that brings me to life right now.  We are currently caring for and loving up on a great little guy.  Talking to Bronz last night I realized that it's been a month and I'm waaaay behind on all my friendships.  And I need my girlfriends.  I've been pouring everything into the family, and things are going good.  Having an extra family member has helped me to be more organized, a little less artistic. My house is pretty clean, we are doing good on laundry.  Kamie is loving her pre-school. Blake is pretty thrilled to have another big boy around.  It is sort of like having a new baby, (only, much, much easier :)) you desperately try to keep your head above water, figure out your new normal... then make adjustments along the way.  I'm realizing that I very much need to budget in times for real friends, face to face contact over facebook.  I don't want to fall into the classic homeschool Mom trap, where we are so busy planning field trips, lesson plans, and wiping noses, and sweeping floors, and training, and being a good example... and all that wonderful stuff, and never leave relational time.  God may have put an extra relationship gene in me... I do know that it does say something about "Older women teaching the younger women"  and that sorta intimates that we are having some girl time, Right?! So that is what I want to be more intentional about this next month.  I want to find out all about a new relationship a friend is in, talk baby's with another friend who is doing foster care for a prison mom, and maybe get a couple neighbors to come drink coffee with me.
Ok. so essays are supposed to end with a summary of your article... But this isn't an essay, it's my journey, and it's not summarized yet. And if I keep rambling I'll get waaay off topic and probably tell funny Kamie stories... Like, Me (during school time): Don't distract each other, time is a gift from God, and we need to use it wisely. (Isn't that a nice sermonette?!) Kamie: No it's not, Mom! Babies are a gift from God!  (Can you tell who's on a big campaign for another sibling?)
I'm glad that God has given us many gifts, I'm thankful for a heart that can be washed clean, and filled with his Love.  Thankful for forgiveness...  And Grace... And more forgiveness... And babies (Nope. That's not an announcement.)