He Makes Me To Lie Down...

When I'm in the thick of life, I just see what's up close and personal. The monumental challenges, overwhelming joys... It's time that gives me perspective.  Thinking back on this year, I've seen God bring so much rest into my life.  It didn't start out easy, and it's not like there haven't been obstacles, or frustrations, but it also hasn't been a constant dark tunnel.  I've learned some coping strategies this year.  I've been way more faithful about seeking God. And I can't let go of His peace, it really does pass all understanding.  And it really is there for me in every circumstance. A friend and I were chatting on Sunday... "I don't know how, or if it is even possible to show another person how reliable God is." I told her, we both understood, her struggles, my struggles, both looked very different, and yet we were both coming out of the 'wringer' of the pain.  Ironically, neither of us has had a miraculous change in circumstances.  What changed was our hearts, we no longer fight the pain, the unfairness. We feel it, but we don't fight it.  I wish I could walk your road with you and quick give you some true verses and have you instantly 'get' the lesson that God wants you to learn.  But I can't.  I can tell you that He is faithful.  He can hold you. You must seek Him.
So that brings me to life right now.  We are currently caring for and loving up on a great little guy.  Talking to Bronz last night I realized that it's been a month and I'm waaaay behind on all my friendships.  And I need my girlfriends.  I've been pouring everything into the family, and things are going good.  Having an extra family member has helped me to be more organized, a little less artistic. My house is pretty clean, we are doing good on laundry.  Kamie is loving her pre-school. Blake is pretty thrilled to have another big boy around.  It is sort of like having a new baby, (only, much, much easier :)) you desperately try to keep your head above water, figure out your new normal... then make adjustments along the way.  I'm realizing that I very much need to budget in times for real friends, face to face contact over facebook.  I don't want to fall into the classic homeschool Mom trap, where we are so busy planning field trips, lesson plans, and wiping noses, and sweeping floors, and training, and being a good example... and all that wonderful stuff, and never leave relational time.  God may have put an extra relationship gene in me... I do know that it does say something about "Older women teaching the younger women"  and that sorta intimates that we are having some girl time, Right?! So that is what I want to be more intentional about this next month.  I want to find out all about a new relationship a friend is in, talk baby's with another friend who is doing foster care for a prison mom, and maybe get a couple neighbors to come drink coffee with me.
Ok. so essays are supposed to end with a summary of your article... But this isn't an essay, it's my journey, and it's not summarized yet. And if I keep rambling I'll get waaay off topic and probably tell funny Kamie stories... Like, Me (during school time): Don't distract each other, time is a gift from God, and we need to use it wisely. (Isn't that a nice sermonette?!) Kamie: No it's not, Mom! Babies are a gift from God!  (Can you tell who's on a big campaign for another sibling?)
I'm glad that God has given us many gifts, I'm thankful for a heart that can be washed clean, and filled with his Love.  Thankful for forgiveness...  And Grace... And more forgiveness... And babies (Nope. That's not an announcement.)

On the Road Again

So, I have a little rant to get off my chest. It has to do with the myriad of treks to unknown locales in order to find my husband near some field.
Our phone convo's go like this:
"Turn where the greenhouse used to be... You know where that is? No?! Everyone knows where that is. Then take lefts on both Y's... and just try and find us... Gotta go." 
Or tonight's:
"I'm on the Sinclair blacktop, I've taken you by there. I've got to run." 
Yup, I've been by there, and where they feed cattle, and where his Dad lives... and so which of those three places am I to guess that he's bagging at tonight?
I think some husband/wife team, who is fabulous at communication -that counts us out- Need to come up with some sort of app.  The code can be written in man - language "Bring XYZ (parts, pizza, pop...) to Ervil's (some long gone, rest his soul, former farmer).  Then the app will magically translate that to Left & Right's and actual street names.  That would be pure genius.  Or we could save some money and get the men to use actual locations, and living people, and current landmarks... But it would probably be easier to create an app.
I'm of the opinion that it's another way for guys to prove themselves, how long they've lived in the area, how well they know the landscape, and how well their 1978 plat book is memorized...
In the meantime, I'm the girl backing up and turning around in all the field drive-ins from here to the Ervil place.
Farm life definitely does have it's perks... I don't want to come across as too negative, cuz I really do love it.  I like it that my kids get to go see their Daddy's work.  And everyone is always kind.  (Course that could be because I usually come with food)

Tonight Blake was wiggling and making all kinds of gestures, until I realized that he had spotted a cow and wanted to run over and see it.  You'd think two big dogs kissing him to pieces would've been enough.  And the fact that he does have cows at home, and he had just spent 40 minutes a couple hours earlier climbing gates and kissing cows.
Kamie's little guy, Mayor Moo, ducked out of the fence tonight.  She quickly stepped up to the job of putting him back in.  My heart felt like bursting with the total cuteness of watching her, in a little dress, marching along the fence shooing him back into the pasture, and yes, he's taller than her.
And I'll admit it, seeing my man in a tractor still makes my heart go pitter-patter.  So I guess I'll keep putting up with the lousy directions...  Cuz of things like that sweet smell of corn silage, red bees wings flying in the air, tractors, wranglers and a flannel shirt on my very own farm boy.